Category Archives: Rants

Pro-War! (read on…)

  By Riley | January 29, 2010 - 9:23 am | Rants
View Comments

In the days of the Ithacan’t I offered an opinion piece on why marijuana should stay an illegal substance. That is, if it is decriminalized, what will gangs do? Most of their business is dealing drugs, but if marijuana can be bought in stores now, what will the gangs do? That’s right, be more violent.

Now let’s talk about the war. Pull troops out? End the war?

Incredible advancements in technology, medicine, weaponry, etc. have been made due to wars. Remember the Internet? Yeah, that was because of the war.

In short, end the war, end the next greatest invention the world could see.

I jest of course. But damn do I love the internet.

I No Longer Understand Facebook

  By Riley | January 23, 2010 - 11:06 am | Rants
View Comments

Facebook, much like cheap beer and it being a hilly walk to get to wherever you’re going, is something I will immediately associate with being in college. I check the site daily and as regularly as I check my e-mail. I’m not an addict, nor do I accomplish much on Facebook. It’s just become a habit, I suppose.

With changes to the format and different/new/more/less applications available, Facebook has changed a lot since I first logged on in the summer of 2006. With each new wave of changes brings feedback, resistance, and retaliation; it’s an e-revolt (r~E~volt?). Perhaps the most popular new features are the option to “Like” something and the ability to comment on a post.

I admit, I “Like” stuff that I see on Facebook. It, at the very least, provides a conversation starter next time I see the person (what’s up Scott Walker?). But the “Like” feature transcends forums, leaving cyberspace and entering everyday conversation. Just as people have begun to literally say the phrase, “LOL” instead of laughing out loud, I’ve noticed people saying “if this were Facebook, I would ‘Like’ that.” Well guess, what, this isn’t Facebook – it’s real life. Leave the lingo on the laptop, and don’t tell me to STFU. It really makes me sick when people can’t sever ties from cyberspase. I love the Internet as much as the next person (unless the next person is Alex Spamponito – that kid loves the Internet), but I don’t let it affect the way I speak in person.

What’s worse is when people “Like” the wrong things: Rest in peace, Uncle Steve! – “Like.” Broke my leg, in crutches for two months – “Like.” Horrible, I know, but I’ve seen these and worse on the site. And I’ve seen aforementioned retaliation in the form of official Facebook Groups: “If this group reaches one million members, Facebook will install a “Dislike” button!” No they won’t, and you know it. Decent way to show your support, though.

And I don’t even know how to respond to wall posts. This is the cornerstone of Facebook activity, unless Status Updates have surpassed wall posts, in which case I’m even further out of the loop than I originally though. In the past, if someone wrote on my wall I’d simply go to their profile and write on theirs. But now, with the comment feature, I don’t know what to do! Some people will respond to the wall post simply by commenting. Is this the protocol? Is responding to a wall post by writing on someone’s wall old-school? Is it unacceptable? I don’t know!

I just don’t get it anymore. Soon, I’ll be graduating. Maybe then, LinkedIn will take over. I’d “Like” like that.

life, other rules & readings

  By Sarah | January 20, 2010 - 9:08 am | Rants
View Comments

When its time to slow down. Wait, when is it time to slow down? Is the the fact that we are the multi-task generation? Or is the the fact that we are so multi-task that almost everyone I know can’t do two things at once? We’ve lost focus of the real things important in our lives like face to face friendships (why I don’t have Facebook/didn’t let it take over my life). People are on adderall, whether or not its prescribed to them. More and more young children, as publications tell us, are being ‘over-parented’ and controlled beyond belief. (What will our kids be like??) You know them and I know them, the people around campus who use it to get their work done, get the A. It really freaks me out. We’ve lost celebs to prescription drugs because the people close to them never did anything about it (Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, maybbbbe Brittany Murphy? and more…) I know this all sounds like a drastic comparison, but if we don’t ever look at it or ignore crazy things happening they might just continue to happen.

Our society is focused on instant news and information. The reason the Tonight Show was tanking in the first place is the fact that by the time we get to 11:35p to hear the day’s jokes- so much has been said that it’s old news. It’s no one’s fault (well, maybe Jay Leno’s).  Our constant age-of-anxiety lives are too much to handle. Life is progressing forward and we are all in a hurry to do whatever it is that is constantly stressing us out. We are in a hurry to do things that sometimes don’t even matter or contribute. I want to give you some advice from piecing things together, specifically from GOOD.

Here is something grand. I recommend everyone just slow down and read it. Also, if you need a good read here’s another.

Breaking Down the Late Night Wars

  By Jordan | January 15, 2010 - 11:47 pm | Rants, Reviews
View Comments

Hello all and again Happy New Year.  Be sure to check Thacant often throughout this new year as it will be home to great content, easy reading and good times all around.

Now, on to the late night wars.  I (like most of my colleagues at thacant) have long been a fan of Conan O’Brien.  Conan’s monologues, skits (Year 3000 anyone?) and demeanor have always made him a favorite of mine and a late night host who stuck out for his originality and style.  After Jay Leno tanked at 10 p.m., NBC made the choice to move him to 11:35, bumping Conan and The Tonight Show to 12:05.  Conan fired back at NBC, defending himself and refusing to give in to this move, preferring to give up the franchise he fought so hard to take over.

I applaud Conan O’Brien for his integrity and grace in handling this manner.  One of the things people love about Conan is he seems more like one of us, like a man of the people.  Walking away from The Tonight Show and the easy money because he does not agree with the move, and is insulted by the way his bosses treated him only makes me respect Conan even more.

Late night television certainly will not be the same without the great Conan O’Brien.  Rumor has it he will pop up at Fox at some point, with a new late night talk show.  I will definitely watch his new show, just as I will definitely not be watching Jay Leno and The Tonight Show.  I used to be a Jay Leno fan, but now I cannot stand the chinned one. (Although I must admit, this controversy has made for some exciting television as monologues have been better than ever between Conan and Dave).

Thank you Conan for the great laughs, great memories, and for sticking up for what you believe in.  In an industry full of fake people and primadonas, you stick out, not just for that hairdo, but for being a man of the people.

Count me as a member of Team Conan.

New Years Resolutions

  By Riley | January 12, 2010 - 4:42 pm | Rants
View Comments

I’ve finally decided what my resolutions for the remainder of the year will be. Yes, I know it’s almost the second week of 2010, but I’ve been using the last twelve days as a test run, to make sure I can sustain my intention for the next forty-nine and two-seventh’s weeks.

1. To eat inorganic

2. To not waste time

3. To clear the snow off my entire car

1. To eat inorganic. With all this hoo-ha and jibber-jabber about buying local, shopping organic and being aware of where our food comes from, I’m going the opposite direction. It’s not that i don’t care about my well-being or that I want to eat poorer quality food, it’s that I’m a college student. With the exception of some produce (organic onions cost the same as equally-delicious pesticide-sprayed onions), most organic food costs a lot more. Take this chicken I bought at Wegmans…

ba-gahh

The cost: $3.95. Wegmans also sells an organic chicken ($9.85) and an organic free-range chicken raised on an Ithaca Farm. As delicious as that sounds, the hefty price tag ($13.45) made me wonder, “how much better does this chicken taste?”

I do understand the merits of eating organic. I have yet to see Food Inc. (ignorance is bliss…) but I do know that I’m more susceptible to disease, inection, what-have-you. If it’s served to me, or on someone else’s dime, I’ll eat organic, but if it’s gonna dent my wallet, inorganic is the way I’m going.

2. To not waste time. I spend a lot of time on the internet – I won’t deny that. But I don’t think this is a waste. Allow me to break down my time spent on the internet: 50% of my time is spent on the websites you see linked on the right margin of this site. All of these sites are informative, entertaining, and hell, they provide great conversation-started topics. Another 20% of my time is spent checking, responding to or crafting humorous e-mails. Another 20% of my time is spent on Facebook, creeping on people like you, (Aaron, Erica, Alexander…) but half of my Faceboxing time is spent playing Bejewled Blitz – which, after a long day of internetting, is therapeutic. The other 10% is spent on AIM, oftentimes sending links to aforementioned sites.

That being said, the only time wasted is the non-therapeutic time spent on Facebook (a mere 10%)

d'oh!

I also spend a lot of time sleeping, too , but my doctor said it helps me grow.

3. To clear the snow of my entire car. As I was driving back from Wegmans to buy my reasonably-priced aforementioned chicken, I saw a white car with a clean windshield and rear window, but a cube of snow on the roof… Idiotic, really. What’s worse is when it flies off the car once you go more than twenty-five miles an hour – especially if it’s frozen over and it flies off in huge sheets.

eedeeott

Really, it’s not hard to run the snow-brush over the top of the car and the hood. Granted, this resolution is seasonal, but ’til spring I guarantee the Volvo will be clean on the roads.

Happy New Years to you, I know mine will be.

Say What?!

  By Riley | January 4, 2010 - 5:41 pm | Rants
View Comments

Beadhead. Jeans I was wearing last night. Sensitivity to the light creeping in from the basement windows. Episodes of Family Guy on DVD. Empty cans clank as I put my feet up on the coffee table my friends and I sat so merrily around a few hours ago.

But now it is morning, and before checking our phones and stepping outside to begin our lazy day, we let our hangovers subside with back-to-back-to-back episodes of mindless cartoons.

And in a mindless segue of Family Guy, I learned where we get the term, “what a crock!”

Or at least I thought I did. The phrase isn’t from a crocodile who stands out in a group of alligators as Seth McFarlane supposedly enlightened me. In fact, the phrase comes from a time when indoor plumbing wasn’t so prevalent. The Brits used “thunder mugs” made of crockery (glass) materials. In the middle of the night, when going to an outhouse was out of the question, they did their business in the crocks. The original phrase is, “what a crock [of $hit]!”

So I’ve been doing a lot of driving during the break. My iPod car adapter has been a savior. The other day I was listening to Neil Young’s “Turnstiles” where he sings about all the bush-league (or is it busch-league?) batters, who are left to die on the diamond. What is this bush-league he sings about?

According to the Internet, bush league literally refers to minor league baseball teams who don’t have a major league affiliate. These teams didn’t have stadiums – their fields were confined by trees and bushes in the outfields. Nowadays, bush league is used to refer to anything that is amateur, crude or inferior.

At a party, freshman year, I heard an upperclassman scoff at a light beer: “Uh, gross. Bush league.” For a while, I was under the impression that the light beer was Busch Light and the phrase spurred from there. Apparently I was wrong. Thanks for the heads-up, Internet.

And how about the phrase, “have your cake and eat it too”? Wikipedia tells me “it is most often used negatively, meaning an individual consuming, exhausting, taking advantage of or using up a particular thing and, then, after that thing is gone or no longer reasonably available, still attempting to benefit from or use it.”

Let’s contextualize: Joe Lieberman has the floor, or “his cake,” but his speaking time expired, so he “ate it.”

I never use this phrase, though. I prefer the colloquial – “hey, quit being a dick!”

Shameless Self Promotion

  By Jordan | November 19, 2009 - 2:03 pm | Rants, Uncategorized
View Comments

Did any of you see that table in Park yesterday promoting ICTV’s new show, Almost College?

acgroupI caught these people tabling and they were also hanging up posters showcasing of all the show’s characters, an intriguing little marketing trick.  I walked over and they were giving out condoms and pong balls with the show’s logo on it and drawing my attention to their upcoming premiere, tonight at 9 on ICTV, also streaming live at ictv.org

I know that a lot of us don’t care much for ICTV.  We aren’t really aware of them or the content they produce.  These condoms and pong balls, shameless self promotion, but what does it mean?  What is this show about?  Either way it pulls you in, so do those catchy posters.

Tonight at 9 on ICTV (Channel 16), or streaming live at ictv.org

All I’m saying is it caught my attention.  I want to see what happens, so have others I’ve talked too.  I think tonight I will be tuning in

I think you should join me.

College Urges Students to Get Alcohol Poisoning and Fear No Ramifications

  By Riley | November 16, 2009 - 6:00 pm | Rants
View Comments

“Group hopes to pass Good Samaritan policy at college,” but really, the group just wants to get blackout drunk, pass out outside their Circle Apartment in a puddle of vomit, have a cop find them, and not get in trouble for acting like an idiot.

According to the Ithacan article, “the policy would grant amnesty (pardon, let them be idiots) to all people involved in the situation: the person who called Public Safety, and the person in need of medical attention.”

I suppose this is a good thing, to relieve students of getting in trouble when their holding the hair back of a student crouched over a toilet screaming “I think I’m dying, I’m never going to drink again! EVARRR!” in between spews of vomit. Just because you won’t get in trouble, doesn’t mean it’s okay to drink a whole bottle of rum.

cheers

amnesty international

thumbs up to this policy

thumbs up to this policy

Not that I advocate drinking to the point that you black out, but some of my fondest college memories come from watching friends who probably should have gotten medical attention, but we neglected to, and a certain friend would scream about “the staple in his fucking ear” from a 300 costume on Halloween, or when I had to tackle him because mid-vomit he almost confused my computer for the trash can.

The Medical Amnesty Protocol has been in effect at Cornell since 2006. Authorities “practice the policy so students are not afraid to ask for help,” and it “aims to increase the likelihood of students calling for medical assistance in an alcohol-related emergency.” According to the Ithacan article from November 12th, “the amount of calls to Cornell’s public safety office doubled while the amount of alcohol consumed remained the same compared to before and after the policy was passed.” The policy doesn’t make it permissible to drink yourself to death.

Students, drunkards, and idiots, I urge you to oppose the Good Samaritan Bill: It is for weaklings. Drink up, vomit in your trash can, and drink a glass of water before going to bed. Alcohol Poisoning isn’t that bad, you just pass out for a long time so your organs can focus on getting all the alcohol out of your body, it’s the closest you’ll get to time traveling.

I jest, of course, if you have a friend in need, go ahead and call the authorities, but I do not believe the Good Samaritan policy should be viewed as an excuse to drink in excess of excess.

I’m confused

  By Riley | October 26, 2009 - 12:40 pm | Rants
View Comments

The Gannett Center. Ever heard of it? That’s because it’s what 99% of students call “the Library,” and I’m sick of all this confusion with “what floor am I on?”

Libraries serve as meccas of information, hubs of learning on campus. The library is a place where random groups in class often meet to do projects, but how can any work be done if there is a huge dilemma with meeting up in the first place.

“Where are you? I’m on the second floor.”

“The second floor or the first floor?”

“The second floor. Well the main floor.”

“So, the first floor…”

“I’m on the floor marked 2, the one you come in when you enter the library, with all the computers, and the desks – the main floor!”

elevator signage

elevator signage

In the elevator, this red sign is the only thing helping us out. Next to the “2″ button, the sign reads, “Library 1st floor.” Thanks.

""""MAIN"""" floor

Library First Floor, Gannett Second Floor

This is the Main Floor.

Library Second, Gannett Third

Library Second, Gannett Third

Next floor up.

Library Third, Gannett Fourth

Library Third, Gannett Fourth

Floor after that.

shaft

shaft

And the fifth floor, so deserted, quiet and overlooked that it doesn’t even get a sign. All it gets is this original-issue “Quiet Study Area” sign.

So where are we? When in the Ithaca College Library, keep in mind, you are in a building much greater than just that – you are in the Gannett Center; home of the Handwerker Gallery, the Art History Department, the Anthropology Department, and, of course, the library.

Thanks to Brian Ivory for the phone pics, and the shared angst.

I Hate Warm Beverages

  By Jordan | October 13, 2009 - 5:05 pm | Rants
View Comments

Unfortunately , it is only the second week in October and already the temperature has started to dip.  Personally, I busted my North Face Denali (my in between jacket, everyone has an in between jacket) out a week ago to combat these declining temperatures.  Another way most combat these temperatures is to drink Hot Chocolate or other beverages designed to warm you up.

Well I hate warm beverages.

To me, the goal of a beverage is to refresh and quench thirst.  Whenever I came in from a cold day of shoveling or playing in the snow, my brother went straight to the hot chocolate, I chose Iced Tea (which is my all-time favorite beverage, but that is a rant for another day).  I didn’t like the way the hot beverage tasted.  It did not refresh me the way a drink should. Instead I found my tongue burning.  Now I had two problems- I was freezing from being outside, AND my tongue was burning.  Those of you who know me know I do not react well to these “trivial” problems and tend to make them a bigger deal.  It was then that I decided to hell with the warm beverage.  It does not refresh me or replenish me.  That’s right people, I do not drink coffee either.  Oh wait, you’re in college and don’t drink coffee? NO NO thats a sin.  Oh please.  Everyone is “so college” with their coffee but the only reason most of you started drinking it was to seem cool and seem like one of the older kids. (This does not apply to all of you I am sure, but don’t hate on the honesty either)  Sure, coffee does wake people up and caffeine is awesome, but I would much rather turn to a cold drink.

I know a lot of you love Hot Chocolate and are reading this saying “Jordan just needed something to rant about, blah blah, he has no idea what he’s saying.”  The truth is though you will never see me drink coffee or hot chocolate.  I just do not like the way a warm drink tastes.  It’s unnatural.  So this winter, when the heat is turned up, the snow is piled high, and your shivering in your boots, go ahead and reach for that hot chocolate, I’ll take my iced tea.