NeW bAtHrOoM oN cAmPuS!?1!?!Z!!?!?!

I decided to take a new route from Friends to my noon class in Smiddy – why, I don’t know, nor does it matter – like it didn’t matter why Lewis and Clark trekked out to the West Coast. They made a discovery and so did I.

But instead of a new territory, I found a new bathroom, recently opened after the construction in the greener area of campus. But this bathroom is magnificent, luxurious, host to two rows of urinals!

Left side

To the right

This bathroom is so fresh, so new – I figured it just opened today – and that I, yes I, was among the first to use it. Upon closer inspection (note the trash bin) I wasn’t the first to use it. And if it did open today, the janitors haven’t been doing a good job emptying these paper towels.

Did I mention the stalls?! They are complete with the green handle for liquid or solid waste:

I am not an infant!

But, similar to the extremely short bubblers in the business school, these toilets are a foot off the ground! I almost expect to see one of those rings around it so children don’t fall in. I’m over six feet, dammit!

I remember, as a child, visiting historical sites from the 1800s. At these old houses, railings were at my father’s knees, people had to duck to get through doors, and, as the tour guide reminded us, Abe Lincoln was considered a giant at six foot three.

The construction workers and plumbers must have been under the impression that they were building a historical replica of a bathroom for such a house – not for a state-of-the-art green building.

Makes me sick.

An Ode to Nickelodeon

My childhood can be summarized like this: driveway basketball, neon windbreakers and Nickelodeon. Cartoons were (and still are) a cornerstone of my television consumption. When I saw the Klasky Csupo mural on Highland Ave. last spring I was brought back to my childhood. Night after night I’d be on the couch, with a bowl of melted ice cream soup watching these cartoons. At the time, I had no clue what the hell Klasky Csupo was or what it did, but, driving past I thought, “I might know someone who interns there.”

I don’t know what it was or how it hit me, but these characters that complemented my childhood crept into my head and I had to put their images on paper. From memory, here’s what I came up with…

AHH! Real Monsters

Perhaps one of the most underrated shows on Nick – AHH Real Monsters had a the protagonist, Ickis, with his sidekicks, the sweet Oblina, and tough Krumm, as well as Gromble, the Headmaster of the underground academy (not pictured).

DOUG

Having the main character keep a journal is one of the greatest aspects of Doug – it allows the audience to really know what he’s thinking. A missing entry, though, is the one where Doug admits that Mosquito (Skeeter) Valentine is black.

Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob is eleven years old. This fact alone frightens me even more than his creepy buck-toothed laugh.

Rugrats

Rugrats was my “guilty pleasure” cartoon. There became a point that I knew I was too old to be watching these five kids plotting in their playpen, but, hell, I grew up with them so-to-speak. I couldn’t just stop watching. The show mirrors where it was made – from the liberal parents, to the Jewish grandparents (borscht anyone?), to the architecture (nearly identical stucco homes with red Spanish roofs line Highland Ave. near the Klasky-Csupo studios).

Rocko's Modern Life

There is an art to writing children’s programming, making it bearable – if not enjoyable – for parents to sit through the show or movie with their kids. Rocko is one of those shows that parents might like even more than their kids. The humor in this show was ahead of it’s time. Is there a doctor in the house? A cow raised by wolves, fifteen minutes of a jar of mayonnaise, the Bigheads! Hilarious.

And there are so many in addition to this. CatDog, Angry Beavers, Ren & Stimpy, Hey! Arnold, Rocket Power. The Wild Thornberrys were a bit after my time, but I’ll include them for the sake of it

It’s only a matter of time – in my opinion – until an analytical report on how Nick shows provide the perfect models for showrunning. The commonalities spanning each show from character to character are remarkable, and they all provide different worlds, premises and hooks that set each apart from the next. Someone from our generation, I’m sure will compile the annotated guide to how cartoons explain the meaning of life.

Extramural Study

Ithaca College has a co-op program with Cornell. It’s a bullet-point on the tour guide’s list, to mention that if you come to IC, you are able to take courses at Cornell.
My course of study has led me to take courses at the Ithaca Campus. But upon registering for my last semester, I realized, “I’ve never taken advantage of that – I should.”
So I did. I am currently enrolled in Understanding Wine and Beer – a 400 level Food Sciences course at the Ivy League institution across the hill. Aside from the professor putting up slides of complex chemical equations, the course is a breeze.
And, everyday, we’re served four wines and four beers.

w i n e

b e e r

b e e r

To quote the professor; Wine is served with food, beer is food!

Ithaca College Men’s Basketball Dominates

IC Men’s Hoops

Let’s talk about how good the basketball team is. With a 13 and 4 record, I’ve been lucky enough to watch their two most recent victories, the most recent, a one-point win over RIT. Junior Chris Cruz is dirty from the three point line, Eli Maravich (nephew of late Hall-of-Famer Pistol Pete) is obtrusive with the full court press, Tom Brown, one of two seniors on the team crashes the board like none other, and Athletic Trainers are ever-so-supportive on the bench. That means you Lil Mama.

2010 Bombers

Did I mention the atmosphere?

The fans are what going to a game at the Ben Light Gymnasium is all about. When I arrived at the game against RIT on Tuesday, the team was down by a lot. At halftime they were over twenty points behind. While the team was in the locker room receiving what I could only assume is verbal assault, the fans were warming up their cheering muscles and flipping through their insult dictionaries.

Long story short, the fans were talking trash against the scumbags of RIT, yelling our… their asses off for the Bombers, and the team responded. They came back, and got four points ahead of RIT with only seconds left. The Tigers scored a three at the buzzer. Ithaca prevailed; 81-80.

The team only has three more home games left this season. One of which is tomorrow – Friday the 22nd. The two after that are in February. You can bet your ass I’m driving up to RIT on the 31st to see the Bombers face the face-slapping untucked-slobs of the Tigers.

After just reading this…..

This just in – thacant could use a sports writer. If you’re interested, please contact, no samples required!

Breaking Down the Late Night Wars

Hello all and again Happy New Year.  Be sure to check Thacant often throughout this new year as it will be home to great content, easy reading and good times all around.

Now, on to the late night wars.  I (like most of my colleagues at thacant) have long been a fan of Conan O’Brien.  Conan’s monologues, skits (Year 3000 anyone?) and demeanor have always made him a favorite of mine and a late night host who stuck out for his originality and style.  After Jay Leno tanked at 10 p.m., NBC made the choice to move him to 11:35, bumping Conan and The Tonight Show to 12:05.  Conan fired back at NBC, defending himself and refusing to give in to this move, preferring to give up the franchise he fought so hard to take over.

I applaud Conan O’Brien for his integrity and grace in handling this manner.  One of the things people love about Conan is he seems more like one of us, like a man of the people.  Walking away from The Tonight Show and the easy money because he does not agree with the move, and is insulted by the way his bosses treated him only makes me respect Conan even more.

Late night television certainly will not be the same without the great Conan O’Brien.  Rumor has it he will pop up at Fox at some point, with a new late night talk show.  I will definitely watch his new show, just as I will definitely not be watching Jay Leno and The Tonight Show.  I used to be a Jay Leno fan, but now I cannot stand the chinned one. (Although I must admit, this controversy has made for some exciting television as monologues have been better than ever between Conan and Dave).

Thank you Conan for the great laughs, great memories, and for sticking up for what you believe in.  In an industry full of fake people and primadonas, you stick out, not just for that hairdo, but for being a man of the people.

Count me as a member of Team Conan.

The End, As We Know It

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I really do. But it’s time we open our eyes and realize what’s been going on in the past year. We’re five days short of the one-year anniversary of Obama’s inauguration. How wonderful it is to have a man of color who expresses such zeal and promise for hope and change. But let’s heed the downfalls, the tribulations, the just plain weird things that have occurred in the past year. No, folks, this is not a “beginning of 2010″ post – this is a “beginning of the end” post.

For the most part, things were fine for the beginning of Obama’s term. It wasn’t until this past fall that I noticed things going sour. Among the first events that made me unsure of the state of civilization was the crashing of the White House Dinner. This Northern Virginia couple (last name Salahi) somehow got through metal detectors and security screenings ad eventually made their way into the same room as Obama. Pictures on Facebook show them posing with Joe Biden and Katie Couric. I feel uneasy when there are guests I don’t know in my house, and I live in a drab apartment with holes in the wall. How did these folks get into the White House?

Salahi & Salahi

Alas, I move on. Christmas Day brought us a terrorist who carried explosives sewn into his underwear. The terrorist who tried to ignite explosives in his shoe several years ago is now aptly known as the Shoe Bomber. Did this Scrooge who tried to ruin Christmas ever think of his fate had he not succeeded with his attack? The Underwear Bomber?! And, what’s more – didn’t our friends at MTV warn us of the dangers of explosives sewn into underwear when Dallas Grimes (voice of Demi Moore) planted a virus into the lining of Beavis’ shorts, leaving him surrounded by armed secret servicemen and leaving Butthead asking, “uh, can I have a gun?”

More recently, things at NBC have been going downhill. NBC wants to move Jay Leno back to the 11:35 time slot, which would push Conan O’Brien back to 12:05. In my opinion, and the opinion of every person I’ve spoken to regarding this matter, it is idiotic. I have a lot to say about this, but allow to to succinctly quote a letter from Conan to NBC: “The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show.”

Lastly… I found something startling when I last visited Wegmans… behold!

dear god!

L'egget outta here!

Sure, it doesn’t seem like much that a few of the frozen food bins are empty, but this is lack of frozen breakfast treats is just a cog in the greater system that is our economy. It’s a scary thing when the most popular breakfast treat (aside from cereal, let’s be honest here) from age six to fourteen is the victim of national shortage. I wasn’t sure of it before, but now I know… things are bad.

Here’s to a brighter remainder of 2010.

Shit! Did I mention that earthquake in Haiti?

that ain't normal!

head for the high ground!

klosterman- the man of my dreams

the title still remains a mystery

I am unsure of whether or not I have ever mentioned this man on this blog. I do know that I have lent his books out (and not yet gotten them back….) and recommended them to people for reading because I know certain individuals, Riley especially, would really enjoy his content, writing and overall demeanor. He has been one of my favorite writers since eighth grade and I have been seeking him out since. The summer before I went to college I had the pleasure of seeing Chuck Klosterman in person in a Philadelphia Borders Books, hearing him read, and even talked to him (but not enough.) He signed my hard copy of Killing Yourself To Live: 85% A True Story with the sentiment “Sarah, Stay Alive- Chuck Klosterman.” Hopefully he will stumble upon this and go on a book tour again so I can rightfully make lots of conversation with him.

Famous for Sex, Drugs and Coco Puffs, CK has been chronicling popular culture, media, and its history for almost a decade. Born in Minnesota and having grown up in rural North Dakota he was fired from SPIN for reasons I am still unsure of, writes occasionally for the New York Times Magazine, had a column in Esquire and contributes to ESPN. His latest book that I literally finished less than ten minutes ago is called Eating the Dinosaur. After having finished it I can still say that I still have no idea why it is called that. But I can say it is probably some of the most interesting writing of his and is creeping to become my new favorite. It is an almost-sort-of grown-up-yet immature philosophy about everything you never thought you cared about, or knew existed. Klosterman writes about why time travel is a meaningless conversation. It helped me realize that the only time I will talk about time travel in the future is to address its complete silliness, tell people about said silliness and maybe pull out some theoretical questions (which he is hilariously famous for.)

Basically is what I am trying to say is you should be reading his writing. All of it. Particularly you Riley. I will gladly lend some books out if only they are returned. As a writer and reader I know that any unconventional form of writing (like CK) is motivational. Mainly, writing is motivational, so why not share?

“What do you think I’d see / if I could walk away from me?”

...ahhh its love at first sight!

...ahhh its love at first sight!

Recently I have discovered how I can define my favorite bands. I mean it can be as simple as the fact that I like them best out of all the music that’s out there, but if you put some time into how it is personally definitive to you, you can have some fun. I’ve realized that my favorite bands are comprised of musicians that have gotten me to look and listen to music in an entirely new way. New ways that I could never have imagined without these minds. And I know we call it a top five, but right now I am stuck with just four. One of which is the Velvet Underground.

I’ve never discovered a band from an era that I thought I knew so well so late in the game. The Velvet Undeground is responsible for a lot of musical genres, movements, experimentation and adventures. People call them the first punk band. Their earlier records feature John Cale’s electric Viola droning in and out in sync with the guitars. They can appeal to everyone if you keep your mind open enough and give them a chance. I knew about them forever because they always ranked in the “…greatest of all time” lists. But I think it came at a later point when I was mentally ready for it. It was then that I realized how Lou Reed’s lyrics are like poetry.

The Velvets are not a mainstream band- and well, they are underground. Which sometimes makes their, I can’t find a better word here, memorabilia very hard to find and usually more expensive than you ever expect it to be. When I just saw this, I was excited at the thought of learning more about a band that only really loving fans seem to know anything about. But when I saw the price at $300, I was disappointed.

Of course coming from the New York Times Magazine, the Style Magazine nonetheless, it chronicles alternate record covers, ticket stubs, lyric notes, film stills and letters. It is a big book I hope to get my hands on soon. I have also recently discovered a love for cultural histories of New York City- and if you didn’t know, the Velvet Underground are a big contributor to that.

–Now, I read the biography of Andy Warhol and a lot of people associate this band with him. And I would like to set readers straight that he did fund and design their first imfamous record cover. He is also why Nico was included in the first place. She was a commodity (one of Warhol’s earliest muses)- she had to sing solo, or along with Reed, and be featured in the record of Warhol was not going to fund anything. This is how she won her American fame. She was already a popular German singer-songwriter.

Even though their music can be depressing, I truly, really love this band because the Velvets are the ultimate poets of the 60s. It is euphoric. Maybe that is due to Lou Reeds addiction to heroin, but I like to look beyond that. I recommend going for The Velvet Underground, the self titled record. Or even Loaded which is a lot of people’s favorites, including mine. Once you understand those, you can get the full effect of The Velvet Underground & Nico. One of the most musically layered and complicated records that exists. I now understand why it always made those “….greatest of all time” lists.

Do something new this break. New to your brain. Try out the velvets. I hope they don’t disappoint you. (Also, let me know how it goes.)

this band rocks real hard

them-crooked-vultures-001Them Crooked Vultures is Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and JOHN PAUL JONES.

Now you know. When any member of Led Zeppelin associates himself with something, or anything, it will not be shitty. And this band is anything but that. If you like rock music, loud grungey rock music and sexy rock music (ahem, Dave Grohl is supremely sexy) that is being released now, but sounds like it could have been released in the late 60s- you will enjoy this band.

Being released next Tuesday officially, the band released all the “videos” for it on their youtube account and their website. Lets face it- we will never pay for music again. Artists WANT us to hear their music, so they’re going to make it easy to get and easy to enjoy. So, go ahead. Enjoy. [Check out Scumbag Blues, Bandoliers, Reptiles]

antichrist03Never before have I been so intrigued by a movie that I know I have a hard time bringing myself to see. Not once in my life have I enjoyed being scared. Halloween is my second least favorite holiday (New Year’s Eve ranks as no. 1) and my childhood was no fun and games in the month of October. But now I might just have to get over that fear.

After having just seen the Boondock Saints for the first time (which I’m still not sure if I like…) and coming to realize what a tremendous person Willem Dafoe is, I started to follow him much more closely. In addition to voicing a character in The Fantastic Mr. Fox (a MUST!) and appearing on Broadway plays as the “Idiot Savant,” he is “HE” in Antichrist.

Antichrist is a film by Lars von Trier, a prominent and pretentious French filmmaker. I call him this because of the simple subject matter of his latest splash. Antichrist is a story about a couple, Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg, whose child falls out of a window to his death at their sexual climax. von Trier explores the idea that while we know passion as a natural, enjoyable aspect of human emotion it can also be a moment of destruction and pain. The characters, “HE” and “SHE”, engage in violent sexual acts on one another and themselves, have psychological breakdowns and panics, and explore the endless opportunities of all things scary seclusion in the woods.

I cannot stop reading about this film because I am fascinated by it. After reading about the disgusting and disturbing images that go on in the picture, I am unsure of whether or not I can see it. Watch the trailer. And here are three very different reviews that explore the film and what it has to say to our society.

I’ve been meaning to post this for almost two full weeks and I am looking forward to more people being exposed to this film because it is so outrageous (and not really mainstream.) And then, maybe I am ready to see a matinee. In daylight. With a friend. And spend the rest of my time avoiding wooded areas.