New Holiday Products

Well, Christmas is in two weeks, or Chanukkah (Sokol, Jordan, Adam)… Naturally, a new slew of products are on the market, just in time for the holidays.

Some of these products which I’ve seen advertised are awesome – they really seem like they’d make life easier. I was watching the Food Network last night, and Pyrex was commercials were aplenty. They’ve made a hybrid cheese-grater/measuring cup, so you know how much cheese you have for your ‘dillas or whatever it is you’re making.

thacant approves this product

thacant approves this product

Pyrex has also released a hybrid whisk/bowl scraper. So when you’re trying to mix a bunch of stuff together, you can make sure you get it all, and that no un-mixed products linger on the side of the bowl. Check it:

also, thacant-approved

also, thacant-approved

Craftsman tool company also has a new slew of products out for the holidays. Because men love building shit. There’s a single tool with sixteen commonly-used ratchets all in one, with no need to change ratchet heads.

There’s a drill with a “delicate” setting – so leave it on regular power when you’re drilling huge pieces of wood to other huge pieces of wood, but when you have to put a shelf in the bathroom for your wife, switch it to low.

But what confounds me the most about the Craftsman company is how bold they are – their audacity. Craftsman went ahead and reinvented the hammer. That’s right. The hammer.

Remember Jesus? His foster-father, Joseph, was a carpenter. He used hammers. This was over two-thousand years ago. Now, as we’re rounding out the last year of the first decade of the twenty-first century, Craftsman tells us we’ve been doing the hammer wrong.

wrong

wrong

right

right

Anyways. Merry Christmas, Chappy Hanaka, Kwanzaa.

About Riley

I'm Riley. One could say that I started this website. It's a continuation of the Ithacan't, a publication created during a semester in Los Angeles to cure boredom and make an effort to entertain students living in Burbank. Needless to say, I like to write, as well as be awesome. But there's more to me than just that. I like to run; Sometimes in races, but oftentimes just in the trails of Ithaca. On Sundays I might be hungover, because on Saturday night... I like to drink beer; Natty, especially. Otherwise I'm going to spend money on a craftier beer. Or a bottle of Scotch - which isn't produced in... America; a place I like to respect and honor. Occasionally, I write. But there's no photographic evidence of that, so just take my word for it. Enjoy!
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