“Go home and Google Sandra Lee’s cooking show. It makes 2 Girls, 1 Cup look like Sesame Street.” – Anthony Bourdain
“Alright, Ice Cream Man. It’s almost October. Just call it a summer!” – Lauren Fitzgerald, a quote revival from the fall.
“What phrase did people use in reference to (paraphrase ‘throw someone under the bus’) putting someone else down to make oneself look better, before the advent of public transportation, namely, the bus?” – I’m seriously curious about that. Also, you can’t do 100 seconds on a digital microwave. It only comes out to one minute (60 seconds). In that case, 99 seconds is more time than 100, digital microwave-wise.
“You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess. So pucker up!” – my father on getting a job or settling in on a career…
Why isn’t there a “degree” key on the keyboard. The best I can do is “*”, and that leaves my reader looking for an asterisked footnote, of which there is none! *seriously
Eggs (regardless of how they are cooked) and toast can be complimented by any number of condiments; ketchup, hot sauce, salt, pepper, butter. But French Toast – ultimately the same ingredients, are complemented by maple syrup, perhaps some powdered sugar, and butter. What gives. Why does the marination of bread in egg mix allow it to become a dessert? Butter stands strong in both incarnations.
“Boot cut jeans make me feel like a fucking cowboy!” – Brian Ivory
Honorable Mention: “Can tin foil catch on fire?” – Bives.
“I thought about doing sit-ups yesterday. I didn’t though.” – Andy Jacob
“Giving me this award is like NASA giving an award to Bubble Boy” – David Letterman
“I had fun spending the day with you and seeing your perspective of New York; The Ed Sullivan theatre, your apartment, Brooklyn, the Jews! I loved it all.” – My Mom, on her visit to the Big Apple. She loved seeing Hassidic Jews.
Every time I hear a siren passing, “I hope everything’s alright,” with varying inflection depending in personal mood, speed of vehicle, compassion for others. Respectively.
“And that’s what bein’ a scout’s all about!” – Marc Summers.
I work with a kid named Mike. The other day he was incessantly singing the same verse from a Foo Fighters song. I was tempted to ask, “Hey Mike, who sings that song?” and as he answered “Foo Fighte-“ I would interject, “Yeah, let’s keep it that way.” What a banal insult, though. Instead, I held off and he eventually began eating a bagel and talking with his mouth full. I asked what kind of bagel he had. With a full mouth he began to reply that he had a cinnamon-raisin bagel with cream cheese. I told him to “chew and swallow it before talking to me.”

If you find yourself in NYC, Take a ride on the Roosevelt Island Tram. IT IS AWESOME