Being an adult has its ups and downs. The downs being bills to pay, whether it’s collecting the bill for dinner and drinks with friends or if you’re paying your rent (vomit.) And the ups, well there are too many to list. So we usually put up with paying our rent because we love our freedom (an American tradition and love affair?). Even with a desk job there is freedom, you might have to look harder to find it than others, but it’s there (note, we should be lucky to have said boring desk jobs.) And those of us with unusual hours and a non-conformist job with non-conformist co-workers, our freedom is free flowing. Which can be tricky, as good as it sounds. You need to learn the balance of complete freedom and some sort of structure. Without any form of guidance would we have anything? Without rules, what is there to break? How could we rebel, and would we want to? Isn’t it easier to not upset the herd, just say yes, and make someone happy even if it doesn’t please you? Or should we stick to our own, just beliefs and possibly tarnish others along the way? These are the things that we learn as we get older. There are more details to pay attention to that we never saw before. Maybe because someone else was doing them for us. Or perhaps we weren’t looking.
Even though I haven’t been a student for a long time (the anniversary of graduation is looming) I am still learning new things. But these are the sorts of things that no one taught us before. There is no curriculum to figuring out the nooks and crannies of everyday, you just have to be there and see how it works for yourself. These ‘b-side’ of life rules come at you every day. You grow to learn that being hungover at work ISN’T fun and that maybe inside voices exist for a reason. And that carpal tunnel IS a real thing. Like my wise (crazy) aunt says, and this is a good phrase I forget too often – people will do what they want to do.
While all of this is OK and very normal, there is another side. The b-side. In a nut, I have learned how to be wrong. While I do what I want to do, so does everyone around me. Being honest about something big and small can open up new doors. And admitting to people that you are wrong and flawed not only brings trust but strength within yourself. I have been wrong before and unable to say it, or maybe it’s that I have never noticed it before? Being vocal about this has become very powerful. I’ve recently found that when I openly admit to being wrong about something, people are surprised and recognize that I am being as honest as possible. Maybe (I secretly hope) they will see it as OK to do themselves. Now that it is a frequent occurrence people seem more willing to tell me anything. Knowing when you are wrong about something is just as important as finding the right answer.

As you may or may not know, for months I have disregarded Arcade Fire’s album The Suburbs. After listening to it over and over again, I never saw their popularity and understood why they were blooming. Grammy and all, I still kept listening and couldn’t figure it out for myself. After having been vocal about my distaste for them for too long I had one of those moments when you realize why something is there. All of a sudden it just makes sense, takes on a new form and shows you. Now that I see the value of this record, I can’t stop listening to it. It is epic, 16 tracks long and full of emotion. With great lines of kids’ longing in suburbia driving around, standing with their arms folded tight and wishing to be free – it is a soundtrack (hence the film?) with re-occurring lines, musical themes and two part songs.
So lately I’ve been telling people that I’ve been wrong about it. “You know, I’ve been listening to The Suburbs more and more, and I can’t get enough of it. I was wrong all along.” My favorite part has been the feedback, positive and welcoming. As I let my guard down so do they. People seem happy to hear I’ve finally found what they’ve been listening to. And they are excited to share it with me. It’s not that I let myself experience this. It just happened. And I couldn’t be happier about the whole thing. “…music being the only art without physical form, and therefore the most powerful.”