As avid readers of this esteemed publication know, I’m eating inorganic this year; no not to put myself at greater risk of disease or to skimp on all-natural benefits that organic food offers. I’m doing it for economical reasons – whole chickens for 88 cents a pound. I picked up two five-pounders for well under ten bucks.
What to do with ten pounds of chicken and a huge appetite? Well I thought back to the summertime when my father shoved a beer can up a whole chicken’s ass, threw it on the grill, and called it dinner. Sorry, to any of you readers, if that sounded sexual, in any sense of the word. From personal experience, let me tell you that it is not sexual, nor is it even fun to watch.
So I headed to the Beverage Center. Unlike the then-classically American Bud Heavy my father used to moisture-infuse the summer chicks, I decided to go with some heavier beers. So I picked up an Ithaca Smoked Porter and a Smuttynose IPA. I made the purchase, placed the two bottles next to my two birds and headed home. “What are you doing buying two glass bottles of beer to make beer can chicken?” you may be wondering. All you gotta do is pour the beer into rinsed-out cans, and proceed.
I employed the help of fellow beer and chicken connoisseur, as well as camera-phone enthusiast, 2008 Ithaca College graduate, Jim Walker.
Now I could bore you by transcribing the recipe on to this page, but I’ll do so with some fine photos:
beautiful birds
beautiful beers
Now, to combine the two. As stated earlier, we had to pour the beer into cans, and insert the cans in the cavity left by the giblets, previously removed.
canal insertion
As I stated before, this is not sexual or glamorous. But in two hours it will be delicious.
slick rub
The next step is to grease the bird up with vegetable oil, and coat it with a rub of salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, and love.
give 'em time
Throw the chicks in the oven, and wait…
patiently!
In two hours, (at 375 degrees), your birds will come out looking, smelling and tasting like heaven.
mmmmmm
For more recipes, check out NotDrugs.com‘s future page of gourmet meals, brought to you by 6fu.
I’m walking around Wegmans the other day, and naturally, I’m drawn to the beer displays. A huge stack of Budweiser Select 30s stick out to me. Black cans with red type and whitish/silvery designs.
bud select
The label of Bud Select, Budweisers newer, low calorie product, is eerily similar to that of Coke Zero; Coke’s newer lower calorie product.
coke zero
See what I mean?
Budweiser, the original, and regular Coca-Cola have not-so-different labels themselves. Classic red and white, as seen in Labor Day cookout coolers seen growing up.
What does that mean? The weaker of each of the Bud and Coke family. Bud Light and Diet Coke. They’re labels aren’t similar. Blue and silver, with a little bit of red on Bud Light, silver and red for Diet Coke. They’re the “other” in each of the families. The black sheep. Ugly duckling. And what can we say about their drinkers? Women who work in offices, rationalizing the half-dozen eclaires they have at lunch by the Diet Coke they had as a mid-morning snack. “You want a salad?” / “No, I’ll have a Diet Coke. And the rack of ribs.”
think this, but more arm pudge
And the Bud Light drinkers. “Bro, you want a beer?” / “If by beer you mean Bud Light then hell yes Broseph!”
Snickers is, bar none, the best candy bar on the market. Milk chocolate, peanuts, nougat and caramel. It has everything other candy bars have, and more. I’ll give it to Milky Way, a decent second choice for those who don’t prefer nuts, but don’t even get me started on Three Musketeers. Nougat and Chocolate?! Where’s the filler? It’s weak if you ask me. Yet – like Twix, Reese’s, Kit-Kats and M&Ms – it’s consistent.
Which is why I don’t understand when candy companies come out with something like this: 
M&Ms are great. Wegmans has a new M&M dispenser in the back, where you can fill up bags with dozens of different color Ms. I’ve fallen back in love with this simple hard-shelled candy.
And peanut M&Ms are awesome too. Even after nearly choking to death on one during my youth at my aunt’s house (it was horrific, I try not to think about it), I’m still a fan. Peanut Butter filled, even the Crunchy M&Ms are delicious – do they still make them?
But this? Strawberried Peanut Butter? I don’t even think that’s a transitive verb, but leave it up to the Mars Corporation to come up with new words…
Needless to say, I didn’t try these, just like I never tried Sour Skittles or Craisenettes. Moral of the story – all the candy bars we need are out there. Go out and grab yours.
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